Home » After Break Up » TG – First guy…

TG – First guy…

Hello all –

So, after taking a two year break from the dating world I recently started to get back out there.  The first guy I encounter, let’s call him TG.

I met TG at a restaurant.  I was out with a girlfriend having a cocktail.  TG knocked my purse off my chair.  He apologized profusely and offered to buy me a drink.  He was there with 5 other guys.  I told him it was not necessary.  However, he bought the drink and wouldn’t not accept no to an invitation for my friend and I to join them at their table.  I joined them and after some light conversation I realized TG and I had mutual friend.

TG and I talked that night for several hours before both of us had to leave.  I thought – this guy is fantastic.  Conversation just flowed and we had several things in common.  However, the next day when I reached out to my girlfriend, she confirmed that he was indeed a great guy.  She also told me that I was just the motivation he needed to leave a girlfriend that he had lived with for 10 years, but was miserable with.  Record Scratch – Guess what?  TG never mentioned a girlfriend.

Of course- I am not going down that road again. I told TG if he finds himself single then he should call me.  In the meantime I have no interest in being with a guy who is attached to somebody else.  This was in December.  My girlfriend just informed me last week that he has hired a realtor and is house hunting.  He is moving out.   However, I do know that anytime you leave a relationship at that level there is a period of healing that needs to happen before they are ready to be good dating material.  Another big red flag is he omited the fact he was attached during our initial conversation. My girlfriend insists that he is a great guy though that has been miserable for years in his relationship and that he really is not a guy who would cheat on his girlfriend.

This was my first exerience into the dating world again – and after two years of recovering from being the OW – What do I run into? Another attached guy.  It is a brutal world out there. He calls me every week.  Sometimes daily.  I don’t talk to him.  But he leaves sweet voicemails and texts.  I just ignore them.

Thoughts?

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “TG – First guy…

  1. I would steer clear of him. I think it’s a huge red flag that he didn’t tell you that he was in a relationship, and honestly I don’t feel badly for guys “stuck in a miserable relationship”…they are also partly responsible for it getting to that point but seem to play the victim.

    I also don’t buy that when I hear it and get so annoyed when men use that as their excuse for cheating or not disclosing their relationship status to new women.

    Plus, even if he is newly single, you don’t want to be his rebound or the person he clings to out of fear of being alone. You have worked on yourself in the last two years. He needs to work on himself.

    • Great advice. This was my thoughts as well. My friend, and she is someone I look up to and trust, wouldn’t send me into something that she knew would be bad for me. She is the only reason why I would even consider talking to him. My gut is the same as yours!

  2. Keep ignoring. If he didn’t have the decency to tell you he was attached then not sure why he would tell any other woman. Either way, go with your gut feeling.

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