From a fellow blogging friend…a response she wrote me that I feel so many people, women, need to hear. There is so much truth in what she writes. She has a beautiful blog as well….The Recovery of Words….
I’m so sorry about all of this. I feel it deeply in my heart. It seems you and I have suffered similar experiences. My ex also tried to take my children away years ago (post-decree) in an attempt to reduce or completely nullify his child support obligations. While I won, and retained sole custody, it was some of roughest, most frightening moments of my life. That was when everything changed for me, and I no longer tolerated toxic or greedy people in my life. I cut useless relationships left and right and focused on my children and what I wanted.
I wouldn’t give someone else the power of ending a chapter in my life. I would grab proactive reins and begin creating my own life, People will either be on board or not, but I wouldn’t wait one minute longer for someone else (like W) to make major decisions for my life or keep me in suspended animation. You DESERVE to have a man in your life that will show up every day for you and your children; not be an emotional drain where you’re the one constantly giving. And your children deserve to have that too. To see their mother being loved and cared for by a responsible, giving man who would climb the ends of the earth for you. You’re selling yourself short, and the gift that you are, by settling for someone who makes you wait endlessly for him. A man that truly loves you would make the leap for you. It’s time you start seeing your value and pushing away people that don’t enhance who you are – those people that don’t contribute to your well-being. It’s time to get beautifully, downright angry and demand a better life. You are clearly a strong, caring, loving woman who will be an amazing gift for a well-deserving man down the road. Never sell yourself short and what you have to offer. Teach your children well by example about their value also.
Grab the reins of your own life, girl. Never place them in the hands of someone who is uncaring, reckless, and selfish or puts you on hold. You will feel so empowered when you take responsibility and become the creator by keeping that energy for yourself to drive your life instead of giving it away. Continue to trust people, because that’s the only way you’ll remain open. Just get better adept at knowing when to leave and let go. Life is nothing but a series of tiny deaths. Little losses along the way. And you can’t grab another thing when both your hands are full, so let go of something useless to let something or someone with purpose come into your hand. Release the attachment, because before W there was someone else you loved. And after W there will be another. No question, if you stay open and take hold of the reins. Become an expert in loss. This is where you’ll find your freedom. xo
Thank you so much for your kind, beautiful and truthful words… Thank you! I needed to hear this!