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I was recently talking on another blog with a fellow OW about pictures. 

I have noticed that not many OW have pictures of their MM or pictures of them together.  W and I have so many pictures of each other and with each other.  I probably have a 100, and W almost has just as many.  We both keep them on our phones.  I have told him he is probably asking for trouble with that one, but he assures me it is fine.  He’s had them on there for over a year now, so I guess it is good. He says he likes to take them out and look at them when he is missing me.  I like doing that too.  

I wonder why a lot of us don’t have any pictures.  I know the obvious reason, because we don’t want photographic evidence of the affair, but I imagine there might be more to it than that.  Maybe, because the relationship is so secretive many of us are never in group company where pictures might be taken.  Or many people in an affair don’t take vacations together, trips or do outings…the events where many people take photographs.

W and I have taken many trips together and have done lots of group get togethers and family functions.  Some of our pictures have come from that, but most of them we have asked a stranger to take, or we have taken ourselves.  I love having the pictures to help us mark our memories of our time together.  We have always planned for a life together, and I think he wants to take the pictures just as much as I have to mark these early days and memories.   

W has always said we were different from others having an affair.  I am just curious, how many of you (OW/OM) have pictures?  


17 thoughts on “Pictures…

  1. Yup. I had only two with “her”. Although she had probably a hundred of me alone (in various states of dress), and I had the same of her. I didn’t purposely avoid photos with her. It just never came up often when we were together. Don’t now why. It just didn’t. Not having pictures together really would be meaningless in avoiding “proof” of an affair anyway. She had emails, texts, knowledge about me that was vast, and of course 100 pictures of me otherwise, including compromising ones.
    Of course she tried to use those two photographs of me and her to destroy me and my marriage. Looking back, I should’ve thought of that. But I didn’t.
    but no, in my case, I wasn’t avoiding those pictures. it just happened.

    • It is funny, we never took compromising photos or sent them. I guess those images are just burned into my memory. I respect the fact he never asked me for photos of things like that.

      We have sent 1000s of photos of various things we are doing over the past year. People we were out with, pics of the kids, things we found interesting. And often photos of ourselves, but never of the compromising variety. We have sent compromising texts that were written though. We aren’t complete prudes. 🙂

      I don’t understand why women think that destroying the MM and his wife is beneficial in any way. It won’t win him in the end. Even if she succeeds in destroying the marriage, he wouldn’t want her, I don’t think. How could he trust and love someone that would hurt him and those he loves so deeply. It would only be pure meanness and hate for why she would do that. I have never understood the logic or reasoning behind that.

      • Yes, I agree. I got into a debate with someone just like this. Who is contemplating dimeing out her married lover to his wife, purely for revenge. Why? It makes zero sense to me.

  2. I don’t have pictures because we were colleagues, but didn’t work out of the same office. So we never went to office parties or events together, where pictures might be taken. All of our alone time was spent on business trips and how often do you say, hey, let’s stop and get a photo of ourselves running through an airport, or late at night at drinks, just the two of us, or at a client dinner.
    Although maybe I’m wrong and other folks have more pictures with an AP who was a colleague, we just never did. In fact I have essentially no pictures of me with anyone from work who I didn’t attend a training with or something like that.

    • I agree, it does sound as if getting those pictures may have been awkward.

      W and I would always be out for dinner and sitting on the same side of the table. We weren’t involved in gross PDA, but it was like we couldn’t take our eyes off each other and we were smiling so hard and we would be holding hands, and sitting so that as much of our bodies could be in contact without me actually being in his lap. We made friends with so many servers and bartenders over the last year, many of them would ask if we wanted them to take our picture, so they would. We also made friends with fellow people sitting at tables next to us, and they would take our picture too. Sometimes we would ask complete strangers to take a picture, but many times it was selfies.

      One of my favorite pictures was taken within 5 minutes of first meeting W in person. I had a friend wait with me for him while he was on his way to meet me, and she snapped that first meeting. We are beaming, so excited and nervous all at the same time. It was so exciting, because we were so in love already, and we were finally meeting. It has been interesting watching those pictures evolve over time. I wish I could share them here, or anywhere really…maybe one day.

      You are not the only OW that I know that doesn’t have pictures. I know several. I am friends with many of these bloggers outside of the blog world and many of them don’t have pictures either. I was just wondering about that. And nothing about not having pictures is wrong, I was just curious. 🙂 Thanks for sharing

  3. I have plenty of photos of James that either he took of himself and sent me, or I took of him. Yet we never had a photo together. It never actually entered my head when I was with him.
    In our working environment, it would have looked strange to the other people we worked with if we were taking selfies. We did have umpteen opportunities to take pictures when we were alone but just never did.
    (That said, I absolutely hate having my photo taken which probably gives a very simple reason as to why. I’m just one of those annoying people who takes 20 pictures and hates 19 of them as my Facebook account is testament to – there’s very few pictures of me on there!)

    • I have to say, seeing how I have seen your lovely face, I don’t at all believe this to be true! You are a very beautiful woman! 🙂 I never like my photographs either, however when I am in pics with W, I look different. It is like my face is just lit up. Those photos with him aren’t so bad.

  4. My MM and I share access to an online photo album where we share pictures and videos. Mostly the naughty variety as we are both voyeurs / exhibitionists…..but he has also saved photos of me off FB. many of our pictures of us “together” are the compromising variety as when we are together it’s all compromising. We have only one gone out for a date in the real world.

  5. I have no pictures. I wish we did though. I would love just one happy picture of us together. I think its a road we haven’t travelled due to the ‘risk’ – but like Recovering WS says – there is always plenty of emails, texts etc that are proof of an affair anyway. I would like one next month – just one photo to remind me. To treasure. To be able to smile at remembering our good times when this is all over.

  6. Glad to hear and ‘see’ you are doing better 🙂

    I have many pics of us … individual selfies, pics of random things. Sometimes I smile and reminiscing the exact moments when the pictures were taken. We have stopped taking the pictures since she found out. I think he deleted all of them but I don’t know what to do with mine though

    • Save them! You’ll never regret that you did.

      I am the same way, when I look at the pictures. It is cliche, but a picture is worth a 1000 words! So much more than a face out faces, but feelings, emotions, memories. It is a chapter in the story of you!

  7. Me and my man have millions of pictures together and of eachother! I think it’s strange that people don’t. We practically have a picture from every time we’ve been together and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  8. In the 6 years that we have spent together, Loverman and I only have one picture of us together and he took it when we were at the Earth Wind & Fire concert last summer. I love it! But, each of us has tons of pictures that we took of the other, in our phones, on our computers…

    I loved this post! Very “interactive”! XOX!

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