Home » After Break Up » In need of relief…

In need of relief…

It has been a hard 3 days.  It has been like a war within myself since Monday when I woke up.  This has been one of the hardest things I have had to go through in my life.  I need to regroup and rethink what I am doing.  If anyone has any advice…things that have worked or things that haven’t, I am open to suggestions.

How do you unlove someone?  How does one fall out of love?  How do you fill the void in your heart that is left?  How do you get over missing someone?  How do you find joy in things, when the one person you want to share them with is no longer there?  How do you make the hurt stop, when the one person who could bring the comfort you need is gone?

This sucks.

It just royally sucks.

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10 thoughts on “In need of relief…

  1. Look it is hard, but what I will say is once you allow yourself to accept it for what it is and let go of what was, what could have been and what you wish it was, then you will start to heal. Hey, your relationship was what it was and now it is time to move on (not to sound too harsh). You do yourself no justice if you are attempting to hold on to something and someone that is over and gone. You will not just fall out of love because you didn’t just fall in love. Listen, I am not going to give you a bunch of cliches here. However, I truly believe in what I said in my beginning sentence. I wish you all of the best and I will say get to know you with just you, for you and only you. Hope that make sense!!!

  2. To answer you question on How to unloved someone? You can’t because at one point or another you were in love. The feeling of bless and happiness will always be with you even if they don’t want to be with you. I know how you feel, to be chosen and . All I can say is to learn from this past love for when you find the right one.

  3. I know exactly how you feel…the only thing I can say is that in time, things change, not your feelings but your way of looking at it.
    Think about what you want most right now – to be at peace? To live in memories of what was? To reinvent yourself? What is it that is most important? Focus on that. And every time you start to wander off track remind yourself what is most important to you, right now.

    • I am hoping. That is just it. I didn’t want this. So, trying to see around that is very hard. I do want peace. The grief process is just hard. I feel like I am mourning, it is hard to get around that deep sorrow. I will try to re-direct my cognitions, but it is so very difficult at this stage. Thank you for commenting.

  4. I wish I could tell you, my recovery from this relationship has seemed a million times harder than previous breakups. The process has been going on for 6 months for me, and it’s still a struggle. That being said, I believe the worst is behind me. I still think about him every day, all the time, and I still love him. But at some point along the way my heart accepted that he’s not coming back, that it’s over. I still need to deal with him reaching out now and then, but it’s not an effort to reconnect the way we were, I think he’s just lonely. At first when he would do it I would get so excited, but now I resist a lot. It took a really long time to get to this place, though, and for at least two months I was in tears every day. I could barely get out of bed. Just hang in there and know that it will get better because it has to get better

    • I can so see myself in this situation. Sometimes getting out of bed is the hardest. I do it, because I have to, but man I struggle. I was struggling before I ended things. I cried every day for a couple of months. The holidays were particulary rough. I am hoping to climb out of this slump at some point. But, I believe like you…at some point it has to get better.

      I agree I have been through other break-ups too, and nothing like this. I was never in love before though. I thought I was, but when I met him it changed everything. He is the one I wanted to spend my life with.

      I don’t know if I will hear from him or not. We have never been down this road. At one time I would have bet my life that he would never or could never walk away from me. He said many of the things your guy said. I was reading those yesterday and it was like I could still hear the words coming out of his mouth as I read that. He said them over and over, verbally, in texts, voicemails and emails. Every chance he had he reassured me that I was it for him and we would be together. Slowly that stopped and a lot of distance (he created) came between us. And then after I ended things he was just gone, we never even exchanged goodbyes. It’s been over two weeks now, and I haven’t heard a thing from him. I don’t have any past experience with us breaking up, so I don’t have hopes that I will hear from him again. If you had told me six months ago we would be here, I would have thought you were crazy. Who walks away from a love and connection like this? I guess we both did.

      Thanks for sharing your experience with me. 🙂 Hugs!

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