Home » Before Break Up » Big changes in my life…

Big changes in my life…

Recently, some things have happened to make me rethink my situation (living arrangement) all pretty stressful stuff.  It has made me re-evaluate a lot of things.  What I really want is someone who shows up in my life, not just when things are great, but when they aren’t too.  W has been pretty much absent. A few texts, one phone call that I couldn’t take, but he hasn’t even called again to discuss it with me.  I think it has all sizzled out.  So, the need for a conversation or an exit plan has pretty much been decided for me. He has chosen his path without words, but with his actions.  I am doing okay.  I don’t feel the need to have a conversation or make an exit.  He came into my life like a lion, but he is leaving it like a lamb.  Everything has its purpose and season.

I feel good as I embark on my new beginnings. I have done my grief work and said my piece, made my arguments over the last few months. With that, I feel that I have closure.  It happened for me once I started looking at his actions, instead of listening to his words. He has such pretty words, and he gives me complete acceptance, but at the end of day…I am just a mere sliver of his life.  I want the whole pie! And I deserve to have the whole pie!!! 

Life for me will always have a part of him, because he led me on a path I had been indecisive before, but he made me see things in a different light.  Everything for a reason, everything in its time.  But I want more than to be the other woman, I want to be the only woman.  I can have it, and I will have it…but not with W. I can love our moments, I can appreciate the season he was in my life…and I can move on.  I’m doing it!  

I’m hoping my journey as the OW stops here, but I also know that life has a funny way of laughing at us.  Right now I feel good and focused.  Let’s see what tomorrow brings! 

 

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17 thoughts on “Big changes in my life…

  1. I loved your final paragraph. Particularly the first sentence. It’s funny how you find yourself at a place you never thought you’d be. Wishing your tomorrows bring you peace and healing. 🙂

  2. It’s so true. Never question the reason. Just accept the good stuff and ditch the rest. I can’t wait to hear what amazing stuff happens to you next!!

  3. This post has been great to read…I am hoping for all the best for you and am hopeful to find some of that strength soon too.

    • Thank you…and you will, when the time is right for you. It helps that I have distractions in my life to keep my mind and body busy. I have had my share of hard relationships. I think I have grown and realized if I am having to “force” things it is just best to move on. It is awesome to read other’s experiences. Reading blogs of women’s experiences have given me some clarity. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, experience, feelings…You help many when you do…me included!

  4. I’m not the OW in my case but the cheating wife, as you know. Either way I am just now entering my grieving period over a man I thought loved me. It’s hard but it sounds like you are emerging from the dark tunnel of grief that I am just now entering. I will hope to come out of mine with a strength you have shown!

    • You are already showing strength, lady! 🙂 Love is love. It may not always fit within the confines of a socially defined marriage model, but it is love nonetheless…and sometimes heartbreak. I don’t know where you are in your journey, but this is a great place for support. Things that help me are is taking it one day at a time (sometimes one hour at a time), pampering myself, reaching out, blogging, getting out doing things that distract me (even if I don’t feel like it)…This is a time for you. I know it is harder for you because you can’t grieve out loud because you are married, but if you can get away even just an hour a day to do your grief work I think you would find a little bit of relief in just that. Of course, reach out to me whenever you want to. Thinking of you today and wishing you some peace.

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