Recently, some things have happened to make me rethink my situation (living arrangement) all pretty stressful stuff. It has made me re-evaluate a lot of things. What I really want is someone who shows up in my life, not just when things are great, but when they aren’t too. W has been pretty much absent. A few texts, one phone call that I couldn’t take, but he hasn’t even called again to discuss it with me. I think it has all sizzled out. So, the need for a conversation or an exit plan has pretty much been decided for me. He has chosen his path without words, but with his actions. I am doing okay. I don’t feel the need to have a conversation or make an exit. He came into my life like a lion, but he is leaving it like a lamb. Everything has its purpose and season.
I feel good as I embark on my new beginnings. I have done my grief work and said my piece, made my arguments over the last few months. With that, I feel that I have closure. It happened for me once I started looking at his actions, instead of listening to his words. He has such pretty words, and he gives me complete acceptance, but at the end of day…I am just a mere sliver of his life. I want the whole pie! And I deserve to have the whole pie!!!
Life for me will always have a part of him, because he led me on a path I had been indecisive before, but he made me see things in a different light. Everything for a reason, everything in its time. But I want more than to be the other woman, I want to be the only woman. I can have it, and I will have it…but not with W. I can love our moments, I can appreciate the season he was in my life…and I can move on. I’m doing it!
I’m hoping my journey as the OW stops here, but I also know that life has a funny way of laughing at us. Right now I feel good and focused. Let’s see what tomorrow brings!