Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Vince Gill and Amy Grant
Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles
Garth Brooks and Tricia Yearwood
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott
Johnny Cash and June Carter
My uncle and my new aunt
No one is immune to infidelity. These are examples of people who left their marriages for a person they fell in love with. Is it any wonder we think when it happens to us there is hope for a happy ending? Hope… is probably the single most thing that keeps love triangles alive and flourishing. Hope can be what keeps the other women attached to their married men. Hope that one day they will leave their “unhappy” marriages, and be with us. Or, hope that they will commit to their marriages and let us grieve them and move on.
However, statistics tell us that the reality is that it is highly unlikely that men will leave their wives for their lovers. These people above are the exception, not the norm. Most men don’t leave, and many never plan to. It may be a possibility that they daydream about, but the reality is few rarely use divorce as an escape clause. Many want the security and comfort that marriage provides them, with the excitement that the affair gives them.
I have spent the last 5 days or so reading the blogs of several women in my shoes, as well as the blogs of betrayed wives. I have yet to read one where the husband left his marriage for his other woman. Many of these women are left feeling betrayed and with tremendous grief. I have a read a few blogs of men who have strayed and they too are battling their own demons. What starts out as hope often ends in despair with relationships broken, but still we cling to hope.
Hope for happiness. Hope that one day the grief will be behind us. Hope that we will find forgiveness. Hope that nobody else gets hurt. Hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Hope that we will have the strength to stay no (if you are the OW) or hope that you have the strength to stay and endure (if you are the betrayed wife), or hope that you have the strength of character to do what is right (if you are the married man).
Hope is a powerful thing. It is what drives us. It is what pushes us. In the end we are all still clinging to hope.
I mentioned to W that I was blogging about our experiences and what I had read in other blogs. I mentioned that I hadn’t found a blog yet where the married man and his affair partner ended up together in the end. He said my blog would be the first. And there you have it….Hope.